Petra

Bee

29 January 1978

Female

UK

If you want to be "friends" with me, or want to chat on MSN, please read my profile. If you can't be bothered to read my profile, then you aren't particularly interested in me, and I don't see why I should be particularly interested in you. Bothering to read the other person's profile is sort of an obvious thing to do in this community. No?

And if my profile is too long for you to manage, don't worry. You probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway, so don't bother.

And, if you are interested, I have posted a number of blogs here that have assorted bits and pieces about my life; some are about sex, some about fantasies, some are non-fiction, are fiction (and I say which are which). If you're interested ... there is more in my DFN blogs. Eventually I will put up some of my stories there, too.

Who am I? That is the sort of philosophical question I don't really want to have to address ...

First of all: there is a Petra SomethingOrOther (Morgan?) in the modelling and acting business around our fetish; I forget for what site she works ... but I am not her. I am not a model, do not model, do not pose for pictures, and am not to be found nude on the Internet. Sorry.

I'm English, live in England (in the countryside just north of London), single, no children, no pets, no cats, no goldfish, and have occasionally a lover, currently two -- and no, they don't know about each other -- and drive a Jaguar sports car (it's my company car) which is probably the chief love of my life. It is silver with a black leather interior, and utterly gorgeous.

I don't own a horse, but neighbours here in the countryside have stables, and I ride their horses regularly; this is good countryside for hacking which I do regularly, but I don't do anything so organised as the point-to-point or fox hunting crowd. Far too organised for me. I cycle a lot in the summer, and I swim whenever I can, but my prime out-of-work activities are my social life, my lover(s), my snuff 'n' necro fantasies, and as many parties and dancing as I can squeeze into the hours I'm not at work. I don't sleep a lot; I've never needed much sleep, thank goodness.

I have a house in Italy (inherited) where I go for peace and quiet and work quite often, and I share with two friends a house on a small Greek island where I go for holidays and - if I'm lucky - a wonderful, relaxed, private time with a man (or two).

I work in a science based industry managing research and development projects, for which they pay me a ridiculous amount of money - thank you very much - and seem to like what I do, cuz I've recently been promoted. The place I work is one of the least sexist places I have ever heard of, and they seem to be cool with having a younger woman around in what is otherwise a seriously male dominated environment. I flirt a lot - industrial quantities of a lot - but I don't ever, ever, ever date anyone from work.

I won't post identifiable or nude pictures of me on the Internet - sorry - for the obvious reasons of security (and my job), I won't publish information that would make me identifiable for the same obvious security reasons, and I'm really, really sorry, but I don't meet up in RL with people I meet at places like this (snuffsex on IRC, Necrobabes of old, whatever). If you have trouble accepting that, then please just leave me alone, because that is a simply unbreakable rule, once again for the obvious security reasons. And if you don't understand the security reasons, then think about it. So please, please don't ask to meet up in RL, or think you are cleverly hinting and that you can persuade me to meet up; it won't happen. If you don't understand "no", then there is the first reason not to trust you.

I won't send out pictures of me posing dead, or naked with my face blurred, or anything else like that. Men who ask for that sort of thing should consider if it is reasonable that just because a woman comes out to play she has to be treated like a stripper or nude model, and get constantly hassled for pictures. It would be really, really nice if men could realise that women are not here to show themselves off naked - although some are, and good for them if that is what they want to do - and not hassle women for pictures. I really do mean that: the constant request for pictures is very, very boring and annoying.

You want to know what I look like. OK, I'll go this far: I am tall for a girl (184 cm) and fairly slender (usually about 60 kg), and I reserve the right to lie about my age. I have long hair which is dyed black; naturally it is rat-brown, and sometimes it is dyed deep auburn brown, and for fun gets coloured blond or white just for dramatic effect. I have blue eyes and fair skin, which when not tanned is very white. In the UK I wear a size 12, sometimes a size 10 (yee-haw!), and I have a flat tummy of which I am very proud (and the gym bills to prove it). I wear a 36 C bra - this is what you really wanted to know, I know - and I pass the pencil test, of which I am also very proud; it means I don't have those gorgeous perky huge melons so much admired by the porno industry, but I am not floppy either. I don't feel very buxom (compared to the women one sees on the Internet or in WonderBra adverts) but I've not had complaints from men in RL so far. I don't need to wear a bra, which makes wearing slinky or revealing clothing easy and lots of fun. If you want to know more about what I look like, you will have to ask, and I enjoy being asked about these sorts of things. Talking about intimate things is one of the fun things that comes from the anonymity of the Internet.

The pictures I have put up are pretty un-revealing, so don't hope you will find nude pictures of me with my face showing, and my phone number and street address. I also have an IQ greater than my shoe size (and I have big feet), so don't patronise me.

If you want to know more about me, read my blogs: a lot of me is in them.

My main fetish?

I am deeply into snuff and necro fantasies, and I have been all my life. I think it's hard-wired into me: even as a child I liked to play dead, and after puberty, I suddenly found that playing dead was something to do with this new sex feeling I had - and it took a long time to understand what was going on inside me.

I only like consensual fantasies, with me as the victim. I don't get off on snuffing men - a dead man strikes me as particularly useless - and I find anything that isn't consensual really abhorrent (and, in the end, worrying). My fantasies themselves have changed in detail over my adult life, and evolve for reasons I don't understand. My very first fantasies were quite different from what turns me on today, but the consensual part is unchanging. I don't get turned on by the idea of killing other women most of the time, although I often like to imagine I am only one of many women being killed, for one reason or another. And I'm straight, so I really don't get off on playing with other women or imagining some sort of sex play with other women. If you're a bloke masquerading as a woman who then wants to play with other women in some sort of complicated lesbian layered fantasy, then I'm not interested; come back as a bloke and I'm already interested.

Of late, my fantasies have become more and more dominated by the necro part of snuff 'n' necro. Not that I don't fantasise in great elaboration and detail about being killed, and the erotic stuff that goes with being killed, but the dying - and - necro sex part of the fantasy has become more detailed and interesting of late. But I'm very flexible, and sharing fantasies means adapting and enjoying what works for the other person as well, so I'm not dogmatic or too, too rigid.

I am sorry, but I am not at all turned on by cannibalism, and I don't get the sexual fun of drowning. I find torture, humiliation, degradation, mutilation, or sadism all a complete, total, absolute turn off, so if that is what works for you, then I'm just not your girl. If you like to imagine you get to "punish the bitch" or "give her what she deserves" in your fantasies, then please don't bother with me, because that is simply a turn off for me.

I like to imagine sometimes long and complex stories that end up with me being killed, and I appear to have an over-active imagination because I have a lot of stories that I can embellish. When I am left to my own devices, I like fantasies where I am killed by an arrow, knife, sword, spear, or bullet - something that penetrates my body, and stays in me as I die (yes, Dr. Freud, I can work out the penetration and penis sort of aspect of this, thank you), and generally I like to be naked as I die. I like very intimate fantasies with just my lover, or public fantasies like executions or rituals, or where I'm snuffed in public with an audience. I don't normally think about asphyx fantasies, but I have been taken through many strangling, bagging or hanging fantasies that have been made to work for me, and there are days when I find hanging - and the image of me hung by the neck - extremely erotic. I can really enjoy decapitation fantasies if there is enough nice sex involved. Impalement from sex to mouth is a very special fantasy that I enjoy.

But most of all, I like to imagine the sense of dying - with one or many men watching, sometimes very close and intimate - and the imagine my body dead, and enjoyed: moved, posed, played with, touched, stroked, made love to, watched, and just enjoyed. I like to imagine my dead body is the object of fascination and pleasure for - well, one or many men, depending on the fantasy.

I like to fantasise being hunted, or being one of many women dying in an Amazon battle, or public executions, or being one of the women called up in a state cull of women, or something like that; I like to imagine I am snuffed by a lover, or that I am hired to be snuffed, or that I work for an escort sort of agency where women can be hired to die. I love to imagine being an actress in a snuff film, or working in a snuff club, where a couple of women get snuffed on stage each evening. I like the idea of discussing at great length with a lover how he will kill me, and I like the idea of killing myself for a lover -- or for an audience. Consenting surprise can be fun, as can carefully organised and planned snuff, and it can be fun to leave the means of my death to the decision of someone else.

I like to imagine that someone is very near to me and watching me as I die - to the extent that he talks to me, even discusses my approaching death with me as I die - and I love to feel I am watched. I suspect that in RL I am a suppressed exhibitionist, and in fantasies I love to imagine I am naked - and watched. I love to feel a man looking at me (nicely) in RL, and in fantasies I enjoy the same sort of feeling of being exposed and having a man look at me, and enjoy my naked body.

And then, when I am dead, I want my body enjoyed, looked at - and I want my dead body to be made love to. For me, this is sometimes the most erotic part of my fantasies, and on my own, with my trusty friend the Omax (my vibrator), I will often imagine I am dead and being used and enjoyed for hours.

I have put up a number of blogs here, some of which are about sex and fantasies that work for me ... if you are interested, please look at them because this will give you and idea of how my head works. I love to write about sex, so if what I write turns ou on, please let me know. I need the encouragement.

Other fetish interests?

Not a lot, really. And certainly nothing as strong or dominating as my snuff and necro fantasies.

In RL I have had a number of boyfriends who like a little bondage, and I have enjoyed that -- sometimes a great deal! -- but I don't know that I would usually initiate that on my own. But being tied up or stapled down to the floor or suspended in various ways has been fun, and I enjoy being tied up naked and then just left around a boyfriend's place so he can touch me, watch me, look at me, or even make love to me when he wants -- at least, I have enjoyed this a few times, as part of generally playing around with a RL lover. I'm not into the submission / domination dynamic, so bondage isn't about being a subbie for me, its about play and about enjoying what my body can do to a man, and the pleasure of giving him pleasure - it's not about being a slave or submissive. I think some men find this sort of distinction difficult to understand -- but most men get this, and understand that bondage doesn't have to be about submission.

I had one boyfriend who liked to paint me all over with liquid latex, and I simply loved that, and thought it was fabulous fun; the thing I loved most of all was when he painted me all over with a chrome / silver coloured latex, and then I thought I looked like some sort of robot or metallic cyborg. Being a statue with perfect skin was a nice fantasy, and I enjoyed it all -- especially all the attention I got, and being naked and prancing around his place for hours naked. But then -- I like anything that gets me naked and being watched by a lover.

I guess my other fetish thing is being an exhibitionist; I like showing off, I love being the centre of attention (ooh my god I was a real *princess* when I was a child - now I'm grown up we just call it "high maintenance"!). This translates into enjoying being naked around my lovers, and finding all sorts of excuses to strip for them, or just hang around topless, or nude - and just enjoy watching them watch me. I really, really love that, and love to feel I'm looked at, ogled, with lust and desire by a lover.

And so I love to dress up -- love it when a man is into latex and things like that -- and I love corsets. I have a slowly increasing collection of really good corsets (a really good corset is very expensive!) and I think there are few things as sexy as being in a corset in private or in public. I love putting them on, taking them off, love playing around with a man when I'm in a corset - and of course, in my fantasies, I am regularly killed when I'm in a corset. Imagining I'm impaled whilst wearing a corset it -- ohmygod, it's erotic.

Oh, and chocolate. I think that that probably counts as a fetish interest.

What do I like to do with people online?

Talk. Chat. Flirt. And imagine I get killed and my dead body made love to. Simple, really. I love to chat -- about sex, fantasies, chocolate, life, love, small & cute furry things, whatever. I find there is something very sexy about a man who asks me questions about myself - especially intimate questions - because it sort of feels like a strip-tease, telling a man about myself, and revealing more and more of myself. In intellectual, cyber strip-tease, but still, it has all the sense of revealing myself and exposing myself, which can be very sexy.

But, please god, it only works if the man I am chatting to can type quickly, is articulate and able to express feelings, and can do more than the usual "I want to push my hard cock into your wet pussy and fuck you really hard" sort of thing. A bit of imagination, a bit of grace, and subtlety, and some sense of eroticism and fun is a biiiiig help.

I'm very good at role play (once, a bloke said in the middle of a role-play that I "must be the fuck of the century in RL" ... which I took as a compliment) ... but I find it very, very hard to do. I don't do it often, and usually only with someone I know very well and know what they like, and what buttons to push to turn them on. And where he knows what not to do or talk about that will turn me off.

I love to feel I am turning a man on, and I love to find out what I can do that will get a man aroused. I enjoy the sense of giving a man sexual pleasure - even if it is within the restrictions of just the typed word! - and I love to be able to push the right buttons that turn a man on. So chatting with a man is a lot easier - chat about sex, fantasies, erotic things in general - but role play is hard, and not something I do very often. But when I do, I gather I'm very good at it.

I don't find the chat system here on DarkFetishNet particularly sensible - I can't talk with someone when there are 10 other people in the chat room talking ... and when chat is shown on the home page! So if you want to chat with me, leave me a message and sign up to MSN messenger, where my ID is my email - petra_bee (at) hotmail.com

Offline?

Is this in the sense of what I'd do with someone from here that I met offline, like in RL? Then the answer is: sorry, just not something I will do. Or is it what I'd do with a man in RL, if he were my lover? Well, it hasn't happened yet, and I am not sure I will ever have the courage -- or trust a man enough -- to tell a man in RL about my fantasies. So I am not at all sure it will ever happen in RL. We'll see.