The question is often asked "can a longpig be spitted and make it to the BBQ alive" and I've spent a good while thinking about it, I believe it is very definitely possible provided our goals are a little different. Attempting to cook a mammal alive is going to taint, stain and generally ruin the meat to the point it's inedible. So let's assume we are interested in the spectacle of live roasting rather than actually eating the meat, also for success the pig should also be a willing volunteer.
The following steps should achieve a live spitted longpig meaning your volunteer pig makes it to the coals alive and will likely be entertaining you for quite awhile, provided you watch the temperature of the coals. Just in case you're wondering yes I would put my "body" where my mouth is and volunteer as a test subject for this method...
No point going over every step as some are obvious such as cleaning and preparation just the key steps.
First is to perform a tracheotomy, with a stainless steel tube fitted to keep it open even as the heat builds up. Tradition dictates that the spit enters the body from the rear of the pig but this misses the benefits of using the mouth, throat and esophagi to guide the spit through almost half the body. So in this method the spit is carefully inserted through the mouth and guided down the throat and down until it reached the bottom of the stomach The next step is for a truly deep fisting of your pig, pushing a hand up through the anus deep into the abdominal cavity deep enough find the tip of the spit. Two cuts are required, these are the only cuts that set the expiration clock ticking but with so few piercings that period should be more than enough. Using either the tip of the spit or a small knife held by the hand, cut through the base of the stomach and then into the intestines where the hand is. Now the spit can be guided out through the anus. Secure the longpig to the spit with skewers so that it turns as the spit is turned you should now have a live longpig ready to spend some quality time over your BBQ.
This is just the basics and can easily be enhanced such as prolonging the live roasting stage would love to hear your thoughts, better still turn this rather dry description into some far more interesting such as a story or drawings ;-)

Playpig

It is not so important to worry about the technical details of how the spit progresses. Just concentrate on how it feels when the spit slips between the cunt lips and slides on into the cunt, then the tapering point stretches the vulva open while the shaft pushes on. How it finds its way through the viscera is determined by the slipperiness of the well lubricated point as much as the viscera themselves. When it hits the stomach it just forces its way through, and the natural exit is up the oesophagus, through the mouth and out beyond that. There is no need to make it more complicated than that.

When the sow is wriggling on the spit you can perform a tracheotomy if necessary, but you might be surprised to find that the longpig can breathe through its nose.

In the end this is just about what makes the fantasy work for you. We do not have real longpig farms. At least, I don't think so.

Totally respect your view, my only intention was to add to this fantastic site with a little twisted realism of my own, works for me but if not for you then my apologies...

being prepaired the right way would make it somewhat easier. too many arteries in the vaginal area. Bleeding to death wouldn't take long, being cleaned out for a day or two would help. having it done analy would be the best route to go. Having a spit small than the esophagisus would allow air, but the trach is a good Idea and might allow for a longer amout of time on the spit.

I wouldn't think too much about how it works. In your fantasy, everything works, like you want it to. That's the good thing about fantasy. ;)

Shenna, if I am not mistaken, although the vagina and uterus have many blood vessels, the organ has a main artery. They have successfully transplated sex organs now and this would not be technically possible is it had too complex a netvork. In surgery films I have seen for prolapse and other complications after pregnancy they show an area just past the uterus that is the ligament holding the origin inside the female abdominal cavity. It is very open and is an empty area the just precedes the bowel etc. So if an iud can make it's way up inside that far and you servive then I am sure a spit could then add technics learned from the inquisition we can both resect the bowl with minimal complication or blood loss via the rectum, if need be, but also if desired continue and spit vaginally to a point just below the stomach. The stomach is the difficult part if not handled correctly, technically the bowel can be to. You know how much heart burn hurts well that piercing of the sac with tip and then the spit in that esophagus will prob feel alot like that. Take the medication ... Oh ya or as the last guy stated. Everything works in fantasy that's the beauty of it ;))

Edited by Chief De Cuisine, 11 month(s) ago