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Who I Am:
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I'm a 50 year old woman from germany. I'm devorced and NOT looking for a new hubby.
I got various interests in real live.
My hobby is scuba diving (highest Brevet: PADI Rescue Diver).
In real life I am a very self-confident woman.
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But in my fantasies I'm still a bashful, demure and decently Lady who don't like sex and nudity.
Me, the real human being likes fantasies about myself being sentenced to dead for any minor fault. The ecexution methode is determined to slow hanging.
But I'm free to choose any hangman of my own. I'm also free to choose the location where I have to suffer my penalty. So it comes that I ask a very good freind of mine to become my hangman. He reluctantly agrees caus he he honor and respects me and dont want any burly dumb correction officer will hurt my soul at my last moments on earth.
My best girlfriend as well as my good friend helps me to prepare my own livingroom for my execution. The decoration was intendet to be like a wedding, silver wedding but all the white flowers and all the black and white foulards covering my furnitures and mirrors reminds now rather to a funeral - and at last isn't it a funeral at all? I want my execution shall be a solemn event not a plain termination of life - my life.
The last days I became very nervous and both of my friends soothing me and try everything to calm me down.
But a lot of things to do like choosing a coffin or even planning the evening dinner for the guests on wich I will not being able to participate, reminds me on my near horrible death with a noose around my neck.
I talk a lot with my hangman and good friend about my near death. He got a crash course for private hangmans and so explains me detailed what will happen to me. He carefully choosed his words but as he saw me sobbing and weeping again, he regrets his descriptions, inwardly wishing he wouldn't have had agreed to take this job. He is filled with sorrow for me.
Well, as almost every time I tend to loose myself in unwanted details. ;-)
To make it short: I'm dressed at my very best to my execution (for the hosery-fetish guys: I wear black pantyhose, shiny, 40 den :-)). My guests are all good friends an releatives. Everybody feel sorrow. It takes a lot of time and many tears to say farewell to everybody. My hangman appologies and tells me that it is time. All Guests gathers around the mittle of the room where a small stool under a flower decorated noose stands. That's it - now comes the humiliatingly part of the "party", I think sarcastically to myself. Despite my very weak knees I enter the stool with the helpfully support of my friend. Now I'm standing eventually and literally in the center of everybodies advertence. I'm very ashamed and deeply blushed.
It went worst as my friend appologies again and reluctantly starts to tie me up with a lot of rope. A river of very intense and never known feelings seeps through my entire body - humiliation, fear, regret, anger all mixed up with real physical pain from the biting rope at my wrists and knees and ankles. My mind wants to snap and I'm very busy fighting down the upcoming panic. During the process of my restraining my friend continuously soothing me with friendly words and a very sympaticly smile. It doesn't not help very much. I become more and more nervous. ...
Well, eventually he embrace me, lifts me up from the stool, then kicks the stool away and lets me very very slowly slide down till the former so silky feeling noose turns into steel and takes over the entire weight of my body. His intention was not to hurt me. He doesn't knew that this way my suffer will prolong to many minutes more.
It is the most horrible death I can imagine.
Important: There is no orgasm !!!!
Well, ask me if you want to know more about my fantasies.
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Here a few important details about how I looks like and what I will wear to my execution:
I'm a average woman of 49 years and I'm not as slender as I would like to be. But I'm not fat. My hair is brunet and I wear a classical bob haircut . My breasts are well shaped not too big and not too small, just fitting to my body. I think my hips could be a little bit wider and my "tushie" slightly proper. I'm 1,78 cm tall. My weight - do never ask the weight of a woman! ;-) My eyes are gray-blue. I shave my legs but never my pubic hair! I'm a decent woman!!
Now to my clothes:
Roundabout 14 years ago I discovered the Internet for me. Till then stockings with suspenders was just a normal garment for old ladies like my grandma. Suddenly I found the all the pornographic trash and I very soon I associated stockings and Heels and minisirts with these impure women. That's not me and I started to hate these immoral garments. At the same time my normal underwear became a kind oft contra-fetisch. So I wear allways pantyhose with modest panties beneath. These are panties made for pleasing women only and never meant to be seen by men. Accordingly to my conservativ and decent education I still wear classical full slips beneath my dresses. My outer garments are also modest but good looking for a woman of my age. I prefer low heeled elegant pumps for my shoes. My skirts are mostly over knee lenght. My Blouses are simply and plain for every day.
Of course I wants to look my very best the day I have to die. So I will choose a more pretty blouse, adorned with unobtrusive ruffles at the collar and cuffs. Made of a translucent white and soft fabric. The lace of my slip will slightly show through. My skirt is calf length an made of expensive flowing, black pure silk. My legs are encased by a semi-opaque shiny black pantyhose My pumps are modest heeled and has a black velvet surface. To match my shoes I will wear an elegant blazer also made of black velvet.
Well, I have to undress my blazer before my hangman will tie me up. As he wraps a few coils of rope above and below my breasts I realise it was a heavy mistake to choose a semi see through blouse. The former veiled vision of my delicate Underwear becomes suddenly clearly visible for all my guests - I blush deeply.
Of coures I have to suffer more indignity moments while he is tieing me up like my slip is shown and his hands will touch and fondle my pantyhose claded legs more than necessary.
At these moments I also got a clue how much my guest will see when I hang.
I dont know what will be worse, suffering a painfull death in the noose or being a not very ladylike sight while struggling against your restraints.
As you can see, I like some subtle humiliations too. For these humiliations it fits perfectly that I wear lacy trimmed, flower printed cotton briefs. I'm very scared my friend could also see these very private and intimate underwear.
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